Yeah... it probably took me way too long to figure out how I should have been working with a metronome all this time. It was a problem that I was embarrassed about and avoided fixing for a long time because I had kind of gotten away without it after my teachers and coaches gave up on me. XD I don't blame them! I was hopeless and confusing. Why was it that as soon as I got conducted I could play just fine, but a metronome would make me play so poorly? Yeah.
It makes a lot more sense once you say it out loud.
But when would anyone every say it out loud?!
Only a crazy person livestreaming every single of her practice sessions on Twitch. I have to verbalize what I'm doing instead of just practicing, so I find myself having to explain exactly what I'm looking at, what I'm thinking, what I'm concentrating on, what I'm struggling with... literally anything that's going on in my mind while I'm practicing, I'm converting it into words so people can follow along with what I'm doing. I accidentally ended up talking about how I'm just looking at the ball going back and forth, and CLICK! I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD!
I've got a lot more discoveries to share with you guys, so stay tuned!