I've actually been contemplating telling you guys about these two stories for a while now. I didn't want to tell these stories for the sake of getting pats on the back or just randomly telling you guys sad stories about myself, but I wanted my experience to really help those of you musicians who are encountering the same thing.
How do you approach music when life throws curve-boulders at you?
Honestly, I find it easier, in the moment, to just shut down. But I learned the hard way that that was not what I actually needed. What I really needed was to find ways to express myself, and not see music as the end-all-be-all for expressing myself.
I know that seems like a pretty weird problem if you're not a musician, but trust me, that's just one of the quirky things we go through as musicians! Everyone tells you how "music expresses what language cannot! You can feel things in music that you can't feel through visual arts! Music is the DEEPEST way to express yourself!"
But I found out that, really, music is simply one of the ways you can express yourself. Indeed, you should actually pay attention to other means of expression that work for you. For some people, like me, just music doesn't do it for them. Sometimes you have to shout at your reflection in the mirror. Sometimes you have to write it out in your journal. Sometimes you have you scream at yourself in the car on the way to school. Sometimes you have to paint the blackest colour of black you will ever paint in your life.
We as humans are capable of so many feelings that not all of it can be expressed and contained through music.
Remember that you're more than music. <3