This was quite possibly one of the scariest and yet one of the most defining moments of my career. This was the moment I realized I was suddenly on the "other side" of the student-coach relationship. Now I'm the one calling the shots, making the calls, and teaching students new skills.
That. Is. Freaking. Scary.
At the time that I had my first experience adjudicating, I honestly didn't feel ready. I doubted my competence, I doubted how much I knew, I wondered if people could tell that I had never done this before.
But then I saw the kids, and my heart completely melted.
I just wanted them to learn as much as they could while they were so young. I wanted them to know things that I wish I had known at their age. I wanted them to have a memory of a coach who taught them new things that they didn't learn in their private lessons. I wanted them to have fun and learn.
I essentially found that I had stopped thinking about myself--I was only thinking about them and what was best for them.
I think that's where we teachers and adjudicators find our energy and determination to teach, coach, and help these kids. We're not even aware that we're not even thinking about ourselves until we find ourselves up late at night rearranging chamber groups and rewriting parts for a bunch of kids who aren't even our own flesh and blood.
In short, we just love them. And our hearts burst when we see them grow, knowing that at least a little bit of that was because of us.