You guys seriously ask tough questions, and I love it.
This week, I had originally wanted to make a more lighthearted video to lighten things up from the last rather heavy video (Why I ended up in music school). But seeing this comment weighed so heavily on my heart that it was literally the only thing I could think of whenever I thought of what video I should make this week:
I mean, seriously, how heartbreaking is that? Reading this comment hit home for me so hard. The story that I tell in this video is not one that I had planned on telling you guys for a while yet. I always try to tell stories that I've already "gotten over," but I can tell from watching myself speak about this that it's not an experience I have fully gotten over yet.
I honestly don't think I ever will. And I realized that that's okay.
It's true, I have not always played at the level that I play at right now. I might be better than a lot of flutists now, but I know that I'm still not the best. It's a strange balance you need to find between feeling like a crappy musician and feeling super excited that you have so many new tricks, techniques, and perspectives to explore.
I won't lie, there are still days that I still feel like the worst musician ever. I even sometimes question why you guys look up to me so much. But there are more days that I realize that I'm here for you guys for that exact reason; I want to reach out and tell you all that it's quite normal to feel this way.
We're in this together. <3