For a long time, I've been hiding some of the types of music that I absolutely love listening to but are often looked down upon by many classical musicians. When you put a piece of music on repeat, and you know it may not necessarily be appreciated by most of your classical friends, but you also know you are completely obsessed with it, it does really weird things to your classical identity. You start questioning whether what you're doing is actually wrong, and if you should stop yourself from enjoying what you're listening to. Then you end up listening to it in secret.
Come to think of it, sounds a lot like being addicted to music porn.
I came to the realization a while ago that because music has developed so much over history, you can't really say that "classical music" is the best kind of music when you identify as a "classical musician". Back then, what we now know as "classical music" was likely seen as the pop or rock of their time. Ladies would swoon. People would flock to concerts of the most well-known musicians and composers. Critics would bash the musicians. Agents would push their musicians into the limelight and create plenty of publicity for them. Some musicians would go along with it. Others would push back and ignore the critics and agents and just do their own thing and make their own art.
Kind of sounds like what's going on now, right?
So music is just music. Let's embrace it all and learn to appreciate it in all its forms!